Friday, May 4, 2012

it's been on mah mind like a big ole plate of spaghetti.


There is a time for everything.
For the car windows to be rolled down and radio tunes cracked up to full blast.
For the oreo dunking contests and popcorn parties.
For painting the finger nails in mint green, the toe nails in coral.
For reading my latest and favorite YA fiction or seeing a midnight moving showing.
For dancing in the kitchen and rocking out in my new shoes.

And then there is a time for the ugly side of things.
For the times I allow worry to consume me. 
For the times I focus on myself instead of others.
For the brokenness that comes with the pain of waiting. 
For the fear that creeps in - fear of the unknown, fear of that which is uncertain.

I write this because often times lives in the blog world and even in the real world, everything appears to so perfect. Everyone is so happy go lucky (cupcakes all the time for every meal, on the house!) The style blogs are all so flawness (no one has heard of a t-shirt and jeans day?) And even in real life, there are people I know who never talk about struggles or anything imperfect about their lives. 

But I guess, no one really wants to talk about the nitty-gritty or the funks that we go through every now and then - and not just talking about that time of the month, ladies. And no, I don't think that we need to go around spilling our every sins out in blog world or to every single person that we know. 

However, all of this has been on my mind and heart for awhile now - like a big ole plate of spaghetti, all wrapped up and splat in one place. The level of perfection in our world and in our society is set at such a high level of expectation that I believe people strain to get to that place of perfection (and this could be applied to so many area - in relationships, in our businesses and blogs, in fashion, in body image, in our spiritual lives, etc.) that people miss the entire point of living. And in that strain to get to that place of perfection, we all pull out masks to cover up our imperfection. Reminds me of the masks at a masquerade ball  - so pretty, so distracting that you can't even make out the real person behind it.

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves and each other: It's okay, not to be okay all the time.

Everybody struggles - one area if not another. Everybody cries - if not in public, in their bed late at night, away from the world. Everybody hurts. Nobody is perfect and we need to stop living like that isn't true.

I recently stumbled across this print and think it hit the spot when it comes to my thoughts this past week. So people, we must live our lives - live it the fullest. Soak it up for the fullest. Eat that red velvet cupcake and enjoy it. Dance in the kitchen or in outdoors in the middle of the street with the world watching. Tell someone they are beautiful - even if that's yourself, looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror when you feel crappiest. Love people and give away free hugs. And wear that dress you have been saving for that special occasion - and who cares if people stare at your oddly? It's your life - live it! 

So I may seem like I was rambling to some of you, maybe all (ha!). Maybe it didn't make any sense but my point basically is this: I have good days. I have bad days. All of those days, those experiences are molding and shaping me to be who i am. My heart continues to swell in pure joy, while other times it is being broken and then put back together. And though I am not perfect, my God is perfect. And in His perfection, I know He helps me in my imperfection, in my struggles including those ugly worries, struggles and fears that like to creep up on me from time to time. And also in His perfection, I know I can live the fullest, knowing all good things come from Him (James 1). 

One day, I'll look back at my life and know that all of it (the good and the bad) were all pieces of a puzzle, the puzzle of a full life - and I don't want to get to that place in my life, regretting that I used all my energy trying to make my life so perfect that I forgot to truly live. 

much love.
{happy weekend, friend.}


  1. So very true! :)

  2. this is amazing! i so so so so so agree! my blog isn't perfect because i'm not perfect. :-)

  3. great post...couldn't agree more!


  4. this is a truly meaningful post. i was even thinking about doing a monthly (or so) post on the nitty gritty. not to be negative, and maybe not to expose extremely personal bits of relationships, but to at least say, "here, look at these huge messes in our house." still, it's a hard thing for me to do. i'm sort of a wacky, incorrigible optimist, and because of some terrible things that have happened in my family & in life, and because of being married to someone with a fatal disease, i think on days when no one is in the hospital, when no one has died...i try my hardest (and, yes, it's still always, always work) to just be grateful. and i think that's become a huge impetus for me in even keeping my blog up, is to try to use it as a time, when, no matter how bad my day might have been, to make a happy list, or write a note to my husband or a friend. but gosh, i agree so, so much. at least a couple times a week i get terribly afraid that i'm not being 100% real, or that as much as i love using my blog as a medium for positive thinking, that sometimes i should get into the nitty gritty a bit more. but i think you come to the best conclusion you matter what you're going through, and no matter how you represent your struggles in conversation, on the just won't be perfect. it will always fall short in some way or another -- but that's ok! god is the perfect one. sometimes i think it can bring you so, so much strength to just focus on that, to key on it when the world feels overwhelming. thanks so much for sharing this, and for exercising my mind on it. you are very loved.

  5. You are a beautiful soul and voice for good and for truth. Keep shining His love.


  6. Loving this post. YOu know I love when people keep it real. ;) Love ya girl! xo

  7. and i live by this line : it's your life and it's not always okay. so learn it, live it, love it!

    you put it in words in a beautiful way. this is why i adore you :)

  8. So-true. Beautifully written. There is beauty in the breakdown...

  9. Lovelovelove this. So. True.


  10. Yes yes yes yes. Love you and your heart girl!

  11. agreed! I fall into this trap all the time ( feeling like everyone else is perfect, even though I know they are not) I can't help it.

  12. Wonderful post love, and beautiful words as well. Really inspiring.
    If you get a sec, It would mean the world to me if you could check out my latest post!

  13. thanks for sharing from your heart! wow. beautifully written truth. love you! sarah

  14. i love this post! so, so good. i'm guilty of probably sharing TOO much about the junk in my life... i think it makes some people uncomfortable... but it's hard for me to act like everything is perfect because it SURE AIN'T! :) thanks for getting real girl xoxo

  15. Beautiful post there Ilene!

    There have been definite moments of feeling there is no room for flaw, in the blogging world and the real world. I often criticize myself, my work, my ambition and my inspiration because I compare myself to others. We often hide behind our blog posts and only want to share the good things in life, because that's really what we should focus on, but instead people view it as others having perfect lives.

    For awhile I stopped blogging because I questioned everyone's authenticity, so thank you for such an organic post.

  16. I just wanted to say a huge thank you for writing this! As a fellow blogger I totally understand that we're not all perfect, but some seem to be that way! I've been kinda down all week, and stressed, but I have to keep telling myself to not be, and just smile! I seriously needed to read something like this, so thank you again!! :)

  17. I recently wrote a post about my blogging pet peeves. This was one of them. Sometimes so many bloggers don't write about the bad days or things that are bothering them and only tell us about the wonderful things. That's great, but it's ok to know a person is real from time to time. Great post!

  18. Ate Ilene, this is such a great post. even though you're far away, just the same, i learned many things from you since we met. you are a big encouragement to me. thanks! :)


  19. This is a really great post, Ilene! I struggle with anxiety, depression & insomnia and sometimes I just have no energy to do anything. Sometimes I have a week or so where I don't want to get out of bed, or I just can't. & sometimes I have absolutely nothing to blog about because I've been crying for no reason for the past 5 days. I sometimes wonder if I should blog about it, but then I worry about people just ignoring the post or just not even coming back to my blog because they think it's going to be this negative place... so I don't.

    Sometimes people forget bloggers are REAL PEOPLE.


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