Wednesday, July 28, 2010

oooh reality has come calling.

reality is hitting me.




i'm really moving away from chicago.

it hit me while purging through my closet. no need to move clothes that i never wear anymore.

there are moments when i am SO happy about it. i have dreamed about going home for a long time. i've dreamed about the day i would have the time to invest wholly into art and writing. i dream about waking up to mom's cooking, getting to hang out with my sister, get to see my dad every day after work, and play with lil pey-pey. i never got the chance to go home after graduation. i started work right away so i have not had a real break in a long time.

now that the day is here, it's so unreal.
and i don't think i'm ready.

isnt it funny how we realize how good we have it when we begin to feel it slip through our fingers liek sand? that's what its been as of late. a couple of years ago, i probably would have cut off my right arm to head back to SC. i missed my family. i hated the bitter cold winters. i was tired of the high cost of living. i was bored with my job. blah blah blah. but now there is a part of me that would put up with that because of how much i love Chicago.

however at the end of the day, i know this is the right decision. it's time to move on to a new season. it's not like i'm heading to a place that i dread. i think my heart just hurts for what i will lose.

so don't laugh when you see blog posts of me missing the sirens and the people screaming across the street from the bar? that's just me. i'm a city girl.


for now, i will savor every single day in the city that i've been blessed with.
thanks for listening, friend.
[happy wednesday!]

11 comments:

  1. i know that soo many great things are going to happen to you in the future!! your shop is going to grow tremendously when you are back home and so is your blog! you are such an amazing person that you will be successful where ever you go!!! chicago will surely miss you and i'm so glad i got to meet up with you there before you left!!

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  2. aww. this is so sad...
    I wish for you that you could stay in the city. and then I kinda wish for me (and your family of course ;) that you would come "home", wherever home is.

    anyway, don't throw your clothes away! host a giveaway or something.

    see you soon, girlie!

    xoxo
    becca

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  3. wow, what a huge change coming up!! but, to definitely another beautiful place. what great memories you already have - and so many more to look forward to! i'm excited for your incredible future! :)

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  4. Just think of all the amazing possiblities that are going to come from this move. And, moving isn't always permanenet, but change is. Good luck with the packing!!

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  5. tear. i for one don't really want you to leave. BUT i am so excited to see what God does with you this next year!!! i am praying for you sister!!!

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  6. moving is very hard, change is always not fun. but i hope it all goes well and you get settled into your new place okay! xo.

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  7. Aw, I'm sorry... I hope you can come and visit Chicago a lot though. I'm still a fairly new reader of your blog so I don't know everything about why you're moving. Is your boyfriend moving with you?

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  8. i totally get this.
    i hope the transition is smooth. moving is a scary thing, the end of one thing but the beginning of another...good luck!

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  9. such a bittersweet time. like you said savor the moments you have left in the city you love. look forward to the great plans God has before you. you are young and your life will be filled with many roads traveled and different seasons. It's His way of helping you grow and build character.

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  10. holly: back in may i made a decision to move back home for a break and to spend more time with family and to do what i love (writing, art etc.).

    here is the blog post: http://muchlove-illy.blogspot.com/2010/05/not-being-grown-up-for-change.html

    and yes, the bf is going down south too. he'll be in GA but we plan to see each other often. :)

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  11. I tooootally get this. And I will be praying for you through this transition... even though it's a good one, it's still change which can be confusing and trying. I know Chicago will always be so special for you (and Ryan, too!). :)

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